Thursday, August 23, 2007

Fishing for Salmon

You are swimming along merrily showing off a wide string of pearly white, razor sharp teeth to those who venture near your part of the ocean seeking friendship. “Come on in the water is fine” is the vibe you send off as fish and humans alike are torn apart in your savage 180s as you change from friendly flubbery shark that had a bit part with Will Smith in “Shark Tales” to something shown as a greatest hit on Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week”.

But, there’s a new fish in the pond. He’s small and looks rather harmless as he coasts along without a care to your presence. You grin in excitement of the sure kill, but subconsciously wonder “why is he so calm”? The predator in you lashes out with force that could take down an ocean liner, yet the little fish continues to bop along like he’s listening to Avril Lavigne on the way to the mall to hit on Shelli working the perfume counter at Macy’s.

“Hmmmmm, taste like chicken” you say after finishing that last bite with some tartar sauce. After getting home to the reef and turning on reruns of Charles in Charge, a rumble develops in your belly and that last dial-a-shot from AlCantHang isn’t going down as mother nature intended. Soon, you break out in sweats as your heart is beating strong enough to make the P on your PokerStars shirt visibly thump and you struggle to stay vertical like Otis after a few Grey Goose martinis.

He was a good shark, a kind shark, but fuckin stupid for eating that puffer fish” says the pastor as you’re laid to rest on the beneath the ocean floor.

Next time you’re cranking along in that SnG, ring game, or MTT online and think those notes on certain trout-like player are correct, make sure to check closer before eating the tainted fish filet. Not having respect for your opponents is one of the biggest mental mistakes a poker player can make. Make a read, stick with a read, but don’t assume a player is bad because they once called your all-in with AJo and your level 15 play with a suited connector didn’t work.

Thanks for dropping by, now as I may have mention a few times I’ll be snacking on two pounds of fresh cut fries and cheese curds tomorrow at the fair to work off any alcohol that may be consumed this evening during donkaments with the bloggers night.

No comments: