Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Forbbiden Fruit

Yesterday on Facebook I made a comment about the newest member of the Minnesota Vikings.

"Its like Jessica Biel standing naked at my front door ready for sex with my wife standing right behind me."

Of course being the family man I am the logical thing to do would be to get the wife drunk and have a threesome. Problem solved and everyone goes home happy.

Except here comes the possible savior to a long suffering football team that never made that one signing to put it over-the-top (actually its a theme in Minnesota professional sports: see the last decade of the Twins and Garnett-led Timberwolves for examples), in the form of a player that a true Vikings rube has grown to desist with every playful snowball thrown or Wranglers jeans commerical. He was the best player on our arch-rival's team for over a decade, daggering the Vikes slim chances of a fifth Super Bowl loss with every below zero temperature victory on Lambeau Field's frozen blades of grass.

If there was an association test, a picture of Brett Favre wouldn't get a one-word description, just a resounding BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Some fans have reacted to the NFL career leader in just about every quarterbacking statistic's return in a not-so-favorable-light (see Big Daddy Drew's first rant at KSK, expect him to lay it on thick for the next six months no matter what Favre does on the field). I can side with Drew, because as a Vikings fan since my Irish-born grandfather first slid a purple and gold stocking cap with the plushy ball at the top over my four year old head, I rooted on this team through the Les Stuckel year, the Herschel Walker "Let's Give the Dallas Cowboys a Few Super Bowls" trade, the 1998 super season that ended with a thud, the Smoot-boat/ticket scalping fun, Jerry Burns years of almost getting there.

A lot of teams that looked awesome on paper then folded into an elaborate paper airplane which glided for some majestic moments before running into an industrial sized shredder turning all those all-pros and stats into confetti for someone elses parade.

There's Otis who shows a side of Favre that many non-Vikings fan have tried to argue to me over the years. Country boy who took his lazer arm and dominated his era with his "I don't give a shit what the media says" attitude and played the game to the best of his abilities and won more often than not.

And we're back to staring at those perfect stems of Biel with the wife looking ready to take a Stihl to certain parts of my anatomy if things don't get said. Personally, the feeling of being a sellout for wanting this is tough on a true fan. Would a Red Soxs fan openly invite Derek Jeter to play position number six if it meant a better shot at another title?

Granted we're talking about a 39 year old guy who's arm whittled away last season after Week 10. My fanboishness will not oversee that this is someone who won his 3- time NFL MVP awards when my thoughts were more on playing volleyball all-night and trying to get laid in college. Age, shoulder that would only take one good smack from an unblocked nose tackle to send him back to Mississippi but why not take the chance?

I await the first blogger/writer to make the 1998 comparsions of an older All-pro quarterback stepping into the mix in his twilight years (Cunningham) and tossing high lobs to an rookie/emerging troubled wideout (Moss/Harvin), sideline passes to the established receiver (Carter/Berrian), cutting routes to the big WR unknown nationally (Reed/Rice), and of course the running back that spread the defense (Smith/Purple Jesus). The Vikes defense didn't suck with a bat-shit crazy defensive end (Randle/Allen) and Jerry Ball (Williams Wall) plugging up the middle.

Will it happen again? Or will the age and injuries (rotator cuff) be too much for the long season?

Its why we're fans, there's always the possiblity that your team can come through.

My hope is to see Gary Anderson put it through the uprights this time.

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