Thursday, September 20, 2007

Canterbury Card Club, Yes They Race Donkeys There Too!

“Open for Omaha 8 or better”

“Are you having fun?”

“The average age back there is between collecting social security and one of those guys after they looked directly at the Ark of the Covenant during the first Indian Jones Movie”

Ok, I didn’t say that but as I stepped back into the California Games room and scanned the lineup for the O8 game at Canterbury.

“I do see four guys from the last time I was here (which was prior to the WSOP)”

Me and my golfing partner who pointed out my face was turning from a glamour girl pink lip gloss shade to polish sausage red with every two cards I mucked at the $3/$6 Hold Em’ table we would stay at for the remainder of the night. Unfortunately we got stuck with the dealer in between us which made prop betting an improbability as I’m sure the dealers would have frowned upon chips flying across their Nordic noses as Bama scored on the screen behind us or the Ann Landers look-a-like decided to yap about my horrible pre-flop card selection.

Seat 1: Omatard that can’t hit a consistant tee shot to save his life
Seat 2: Non-descript guy replaced by grubby looking guy with iPod and a well used players club card
Seat 4: Human Earthquake Tremor First timer who played AK, AA, and AAs only
Seat 5: Slick Interwebz college kid from University of Wisconsin Eau Claire
Seat 6: Non-slick interwebz kid with straight flush or better hat from Canterbury who bluffed as strongly as a thin piece of fresh cotton candy
Seat 7: Hottie who played tighter then the human tremor but was nice to look at
Seat 8: Ann Landers who also played fairly tight
Seat 9: Lawyer from Meeeeeeeeeeechigan, doesn’t appreciate Aces getting cracked, but hits an approach shot within 10 feet of the pin everytime

I played a ton of hands, gutshots, nine-high flOOsh draws, and got a good table image thanks to trips with a garbage hand, a certain someone chatting with the other end of the table, and showing down two pair in the following hand:

Human tremor decides after holding his cards up to his face to raise and does some kind of chip dump on the table that takes a good minute to reach for six chips, hottie in the seven seat just calls, and I look down at JTs on the button and call.

Flop comes out T K 5

Tremor checks (100% sure he has QQ or JJ here), hottie bets, I call putting the hottie on AK and ignoring all pot odds but knowing she’ll pay me off if I hit two pair or trips, Tremor orders a hot chocolate while folding and the table requests an umbrella.

Turn blank

I check-call her bet because that’s how I roll.

River Jack no flush possible

She bets, I raise, and she just flat calls… what do you put her on?

Next hand against my fellow blogger proves I suck at poker and deserve bad beats until the Vikes go to the Super Bowl (in four months right? SKOL!):

Its my big blind and I look down at the powerhouse Ad4d and take a causal pull off my Cap’n Coke as Slickster #1 raises and folds around to me and I just call…

… not realizing its been made three-bets by the fellow in the nine seat. Good way to waste six bucks besides making golfing prop bets with said player.

Flop 2d 3s 6d

Already dreading the probable cracking of a premium pair, I raise his flop bet and Slickster goes back to bragging about pwning the $2.20 turbo SnGs on Full Tilt after folding with a call by the raiser.

Turn 4s

Check, I bet, he calls

River Td

Check, I bet, he calls and tables two shiny Aces, while I use the dealer to shield his rather large fists of fury and table my nut flush. Karma did get me back as my Aces were cracked by Slickster’s 89sOOOted two hands later with a flopped straight that if it was NL I would have folded the flop due to a cool tell where he’d snap his chips when betting and was strong.

Dem Quads Bitches!!:

I call UTG + 1 with TT for unknown reasons and hottie completes in the SB while Ann Landers actually settles down enough to check:

Flop: T 8 2

Hottie leads out, Ann probably chats with Mike about how she gave great advice to a young couple from Montana who’s having problems because the husband is finding more lovin’ in the stables then in his wife’s bed, and calls. Since I’m a super sneaky guy I just call.

Turn 9

Hottie checks, Ann Landers bosom heaves about a foot above the table and she bets like she just hit her straight (yes, she was that tight), so I call for value because when you’re maniac check-calling is the way to go, hottie follows up by calling.

River T

Hottie gets excited also and leads out, Ann once again can’t contain her good fortunes and immediately raises. Because I’m the donk I raised after some extremely stupid attempt to look weak that had Spielberg ringing me up for his next feature. They call, hottie tables JJ, Ann Landers is hoping I turn over a dry T with her Nines full of Tens, but I refrain from shouting DEM QUADS BITCHES, settle for the ooohs and aaaahs as the monster pot got me unstuck.

Left up 15BBs for a decent addition to my bankroll after five hours with the satisfaction of playing live poker with invisible internet friends and hoping to see a few more this winter.

Thanks for dropping by, now drop a comment if you’d like to guess the hottie’s holdings from the first recap, I’ll ship a five-spot to the first commenter that gets it right (those who were at the table during the hand in question are not eligible).

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