Monday, October 29, 2007

Rage Against the Sox

The headline on Yahoo this morning:

Red Sox sweep Rockies in a DRAMATIC Game 4.

What is so dramatic about a sweep?

If you were watching this game in the first place instead of Family Guy or Bourne Ultimatum (which must be viewed every time its on despite seeing it 20+ times), you are one of the following:

a) A true baseball fan, you have Peter Gammons on tape reading the Sabermetric Baseball Encyclopedia to rock you to sleep after a marathon twelve and half hour strat-o-matic seven game playoff pitting the ’27 Yankees versus ’89 Oakland A’s, and you were writing the box score down while the Soxs and Roxs game was going on while eating a malt cup, drinking a tall glass of flat 3.2 beer, and hot dog while wearing your Sid Fernandez throw back jersey that still had tears on it from the Mets collapsing this year like Lindsay Lohan’s dress on a pole at a Vegas nightclub after too many vodka and RedBulls.

b) You had money wagered on the game, meaning you cursed that catch at the wall hoping the game would break the over/under. Or you signed up for a tournament at Fantasy Sports Live and took my money again. Bastards.

c) You’re a Boston sports fan who didn’t spank himself to sleep enough after Tom Brady pushed his “I-win” button once again and made an NFL game look like Michigan versus Appalachian State at Michigan err…. Weber State versus Ohio State? 52-7 versus a team with a shot at the playoffs? Sick.

Congrats Red Sox, you keep the Yankees’ hopes alive that money can still buy a championship.

Poker was put away for the weekend because the cycle of refueling from a series of missed flips and “bad beats” required a cooling off period. One exception was the freeroll (AJ is gold versus my QQ, standard), and after having a few choice words outside of the chat box for the cat avatar, I turned my attention to football again.

I would say something about the Vikings but they seem to be on a looping tape. All seven games this year have gone like this (except the Bears game which gave Vikes fans some false hope):

Starting drive, march down the field for a score ala Patriots but not as flashy

Proceed to cause fans to shout at the TV/radio/field (if at home) as to why the fuck Chester Taylor is getting the ball as much as Purple Jesus

Shout at quarterback for having the accuracy of a punch drunk Michael Spinks after one round with Tyson

Lose by one touchdown or less because the offense couldn’t get it done in the final quarter

The weekend did have a silver lining.

I got this Sunday morning because the Target ad had it on the front:

Who’s got game enough to take me on Guitar Hero 3 (Wii of course), I finished three songs on Easy last night! Tom Morello said I rocked!

Thanks for dropping by, now click here (with your speakers up and morning coffee in hand) and find the little man hiding for a prize.




Blogger Battle.

Be there.

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