Thursday, December 27, 2007

Hot or Not?

There’s a fine line between funny and insulting, buzzed and drunk, and Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and their uniforms. Many people only look at the top layer and don’t go beyond the comprehension that yes she probably had breast implants and immediately tag her as shallow and ditzy but if you’re looking at them in HD or paid $1,000 for those front row seats and are following their every ripple and bounce wasn’t it worth it?

Every night I’ve played on the tables for the past week comment spew from the idiot box ranging from “you fish” to “idiot” to “I wish I had your babies”. Sorry, that job was locked up seven years ago and next month I’ll be as fertile as the cat. Omaha isn’t a game for those who can’t handle variance in the least. I’m sure if Felicia were to chart out the highs and lows emails and chats with her during my start towards playing four card bingo on a regular basis they’d rival a topography map of the Himalayas.

When you push stacks and regularly get to the turn being a 60/40 favorite despite holding the nuts, you’re going to lose far more often then getting your money in good while playing Hold Em’. Math is hard, losing as a favorite is harder, and comprehending you are gambling more while playing Omaha thus having your bankroll bounce more then the aforementioned double d’s above is the hardest. People can play this game for years and still not see how slight your overall edge is unless you push those small favorites consistently.

Quiz for you (and don’t cheat with Twodimes or Fuel’s PokerOven or whatever its called), you are playing No Limit Omaha 8 or Better 6-max ring game because that fifth shot of Maker’s is hitting the right spot and call an oversized 12BB pre flop raise (98.6% meaning Aces) with As 2s 4h 5d:

Board is 2c 3h Qs

If you firmly put the opponent on naked aces with no to little low draw, what’s your play?

If you said call the push and suckout, you’re half right but it’s the aces that would be sucking out. And the beauty of hitting with a hand like this is unless your opponent is some 2+2 or PocketFives poster, they will label you as a fish/donk/retard and if life in the fast lane of playing draws for stacks scares you? Just revert into value betting the nuts and you’ll get paid off. Simple isn’t it!

Except you miss your low and the other 13,248,098.4 outs and have to click on the “get chips” button. Now you’re probably cursing at those idiot blogs and poker message boards for giving you bum advice, like your friend’s decision to give that drunk stripper a ride home and end up driving around downtown Minneapolis for 45 minutes before dropping her back off without even a courtesy blow job.

Thanks for dropping by, now I need some cigar advice much like DP as I’d like to get something other then my usual Gurkha Torpedo for New Year’s.

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