Monday, August 07, 2006

Is There Anything Left to Celebrate?

Ah, nothing like cramming in a wedding anniversary and your kid’s birthday party all in one weekend. We managed to drive up to the cabin on Friday afternoon, only to return by Saturday afternoon.

Why such a short trip you may ask?

A certain 2 years 363 day old human male decided he was emotionally unfit to attend the five dollar an hour per kid “day care” at the casino after we had planned a little gambling and a nice dinner for our anniversary. After signing off the 15 page waiver/bio “this is my kid and this is want he/she wants” stuff for the KidQuest inside the casino, me and the wife set off to play the penny slots for a bit until it was time to hit up the nice restaurant for an “adult” meal that didn’t include stopping to make a bottle or tell the boy to stop yanking the blue haired lady’s wig off.

Unlike The “A” Team, our plan did not come together as we played for maybe three or four minutes and a distress signal over the intercom beckoned my wife to pick up the soon-to-be-punished blue eyed child. Yes, apparently the “day care” doesn’t accept “crying children”, only those who “want” to be there are allowed to stay. Now, I’m not Dr. Spock, nor do I lay claim to having insider knowledge of a day care BUT… don’t most kids cry a little bit after their parents leave them for a just a little bit until you find them something to play with and everything is cheeky-happy afterwards? Not only were we forced away from our “adult” evening we had to pay for the five minutes the kids “stayed” (imagine me going just a little nuts with the air quotes) at the KidsQuest. Yes, for the bargain price of $120/hour we got top-notch child care. Granted my wife paid the $10 without fuss because I’m sure her head was two whines from exploding. Nevermind that it took longer to fill out the little forms, get Wyatt to put on some socks, and have him run inside, we got charged for the pleasure of them not even trying to help him have fun.

End rant.

The rest of the weekend went a tad smoother as my parents graciously offer less expensive day care for the evening and we were able to have that dinner with a cocktail. I may catch some flak for this, but I have to admit I got buzzed on one drink. It wasn’t lack of food or getting spiked with a couple shots of Everclear, but for some reason after I downed the one liter of long island iced tea, I was feeling it. Can’t you tell I’m in prime shape for the Bash, set the over/under at 6:45p.m. Saturday night for me to be mumbling about loons, ninjas, and why people at Linens and Things amuse me.

After the dinner I was easily persuadable and my wife took advantage of me (not in THAT way, sadly). We went to Linens and Things to check out a nice reclining chair for the new deck and for what should have taken two minutes got dragged out to twenty. Is it really that tough to put a little pricing note in the vicinity of the merchandise so the possible consumer can make a fiscal decision to purchase the aforementioned item? After roaming the store and gazing at the Sharper Image-lite type wares I found exactly zero people wearing the bright red smocks eager to answer my pressing question, then again I was a little buzzed because of my lightweight liver and I could have walked right passed them. So, we waited for the one cashier and only visible employee to assist us. We won’t mention her hotness or thank her for bending down to pear at the chair through the window outside to try to look for the price tag that we already mentioned didn’t exist. I didn’t look, much.

After hauling the chair inside the store to scan, we had to wait again while someone jump ahead of us to purchased one of the five billion Sudoku items (I admit to liking the puzzles too, just not while I’m heading towards drunkville and would like to get home as soon as and possibly get laid for the first time in six months) shown right in front of the register. After Sudoku lady left, the miniature version of Rebecca Gayheart informed us that the chair was four times the amount my wife appraised it at, and she would not consider coming over for a lap dance, so we left.

Wyatt’s birthday party went off a little smoother then our attempt at romance as all my friends and their kids were able to come over Sunday night to his “Cars” themed party. A question for future parties… is there ANY way of not having the other kids get jealous of the birthday boy/girl receiving gifts and restraining them from crying about not being able to play with them? I could do without the whining and fighting thankyouverymuch. My generous friends brought some very cool gifts, including this pop up whiffle ball machine which of course we had hauled outside to test our skillz immediately. Besides the usual “I had this first” fights between the kids it was a great time, and once again my wife pulled-off the logistics of something I’d have no clue on where to start.

I’m a lucky guy and have been for six years.

Proof of my luck was found at the poker tables as well this weekend, as I managed to win a mini-Step 2 tourney at PartyPoker and move on to the Step 3 ($50+$5). After playing these for over six months and being stuck at the Step 1, I’d call this an accomplishment and post worthy because I haven’t been able to play much and my poker stories are between slim and none at the moment. By the time I hit Step 28 I’m sure I’ll finally receive the fruits of this laborious hamster wheel. Speaking of PartyPoker, I’m sure everyone already downloaded it and starting playing immediately, in case you didn’t…

That’s right bitches, PartyBingo baby (ugh, what's up with no pics?!?!). A few observations on last night’s foray into the land of daubers, VFW pros, and 2 inch un-ashed Marlboro 100s.

- People actually think they’re going to win (much like that doofus who plays any two sOOted at your $.50/$1 limit hold em table)

- Bingo is exciting! Ok, I admit when I got down to having one ball left and a $200+ prize after paying a dime a card it got me screaming for B3.

- Three drink minimum if you want to keep your dignity

But after throwing ten bucks into the PartyGaming coffers after not winning, I decided I’ll need some research material as there are much better players out there then me or maybe I’ll step down the nickel rooms before taking on these high-rollers again.

Thanks for dropping by, now an inside joke/note to Bobby Bracelet this morning… there’s a tattoo of “Louisville Slugger” across my forehead this morning. I blame you. That is all.

Oh, and to beer drinkers out there… I had an excellent micro brew called Summit Hefe-Weizen at Applebee’s this weekend. It had the smoothness of a Blue Moon, but the little distinctive bitter at the end, that most Summit’s have, made this a very enjoyable beer. Not sure how it would taste from a bottle but the tap version made me a future customer.

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