Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Women Make Me Feel Funny

Wowowowowowowow. Or as my son likes to say “Oh my goooodness”.

People like to discuss women. Is it testament as to how much those with bOObs confuzzle the male species on a daily basis? I bet that topic would spark an all-night girlie chat box discussion or maybe in between shots at the Bash next month.

What shall we tackle today…

Near future gas prices rising due to the Alaskan pipeline fix?

Lindsay Lohan starting to look skinny again from partying too much?

Lack of sex after your new wife eats the wedding cake?

Cold Fusion, could it revive Elizabeth Shue’s career and provide a clean energy source at the same time?

Will Allen Cunningham take it down at the WSOP and overcome the mountain of chips that is Jamie Gold? (I hope so, since I’ll get a WSOP ME seat freeroll if he does, that and Allen deserves more recognition then he currently gets).

Do you ever stare at the pictures in your cubical and drift off wishing you were there (I have one from a WPBT event and one with the wife)?

How long is a Kit-Kat good for that’s been sitting in your drawer (on a tangent is a Three Cheese Rotini "Bowl Appetit" from Betty Crocker with an expiration date of November 13th, 2004 probably not good)?

Stripper or Erotic Massage (happy ending done by both of course)?

Ok, that’s what I get for trying to divert the pain currently curdling in my right leg. Did anyone ever warn you that siding on a dry baseball field without pants might cause a burning sensation worse than the day after that Motel 6 date with the chick you picked up after a five bar long bar crawl? I’m currently wearing a Kotex maxi pad sized gauze to absorb anymore blood and assorted bodily fluids that may expel from my leg due to the single IQ decision to slide into second base last night.

At least I was safe, and put the tying run on second with one out and two fairly good batters behind me in the bottom of the 7th (and last) inning… but both crapped out, including a guy striking out for the last out of the game and nearly breaking my $250 bat in two. If I hadn’t sucked so bad at the beginning of the game it probably wouldn’t have gotten to that point.

Walk people? Definitely.

Hit a can of corn with people on base? I’m an easy out (except I did manage to hit a home run late in the game to tie it up).

Cut people off because you think they can’t catch but usually they pull through? Guilty.

Basically I dug myself the hole of pain I’m now feeling and will feel for the next week or so while my body mends itself with the help of various ointments and Powerpuff Girls band-aids.

I could analogize poker into this post but I won’t since I need to be actively playing to feel like printing out sage advice that people with a half-brain of common sense could figure out for themselves.

One co-ed softball season in the books, men's league finishes next week despite having the league wrapped up (free t-shirts whoo whoo!!) and now I found out I’m on the hook for another four weeks when fall ball starts up. Don’t get me wrong I love to play, just not when I’m getting only a few hours of sleep during the week and can’t partake in some degenerate virtual card slinging. At least I can relax on IRC when I am home to read about Helixx finding a Star Trek-theme’d porn chat room which is much more interesting then discussing another lost coin flip or perceived “bad beat”. Wil might want to make sure he has an empty stomach should the former Star Trek actor decide to peak into that twisted world.

Another discussion from last night… why do people continue to play triple draw with Chris Fargis, do they not like money? If you want a clinic on the game, pull up UltimateBet and the 300/600 game to watch. Amazing stuff.

Thank god we can all discuss something besides poker, and I have no doubts about that after yesterday. Granted 6 or 7 of those comments are mine, the originality of the responses rocked.

I tip my Sprite can colored Styx Sportswear (proud sponsor of the 2006 Brooklyn Park league doubleheader Gold men's division champs) cap to you all.

Thanks for dropping by, now if you’re not ponying up the $24.95 or don’t have satellite be sure you are spamming the refresh button for the real media coverage of tomorrow's final table at the WSOP main event. If you feel “real” coverage is some cut-and-paste job at ESPN, you’re probably not reading this.

Turn to these fine bloggers for the blow by blow excitement (list from Iggy).

Otis, CJ, and Wil at PokerStarsBlog
Tao of Poker
Jason at Bluff Radio
CC over at Linda's Table Tango
Amy Calistri and Jen Leo at Breakfast Club Poker
Dan M., April, Change100, Johnny K. at
Poker Prof @ Las Vegas Vegas

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