Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Humidity Is Not Welcome At Home

Fool me once shame on me.

Fool me twice, get some chop socky judo to the face and pay off a week’s wage for downing two meals and running from the bill.

Smart people we have here in the great white north.

I’ve been at odds lately due to homelife being less then the ideal. If your dream home life is the picket white fence house in the suburbs, wife, 2.3 kids, steady 9 to 5, and some decent steak and potatoes being served nightly for dinner, I’ve been drifting along just fine. But, the gray area of depression has been hovering above our home for years like a thick, saturated cloud of humidity that turned minor things uncomfortable due to the irritability factor.

Getting snapped at was something I took in stride most days, thinking “that’s just her personality”, while other times the trivial rebukes got under my skin enough to voice something less then pleasant back, in order to keep from getting verbally whipped like Mrs. Otis’ mousy airplane companion that wouldn’t stand up to his wife. I believe in equality at home although I’ll defer most arguments for the sake of not sweating the small stuff. Unfortunately the small stuff has been piling up for years and after getting home from Vegas I could see a change was needed if we could continue loving each other like the day we met back on a decrepit ball field while taking our first glances at someone we’d be looking at across the bed for the next ten years.

“I think you should see a doctor” was my constant plea, which was answered by a cold shoulder that was seemingly all too familiar after Kyra was born. Last week, she finally agree to talk about her depression with a doctor thus beginning what I hope is a return to the vibrant woman I married before the long nights of parenthood and my many years of disabled status have worn down on both of us.

My love for her hasn’t changed, and my reads on her are likewise but to see her wrapped up in the grips of depression that I myself battled for a length of time I knew something needed to change for us, for our kids, for our friends/family.

Thus, we start hopefully a new life as a couple, which was tested last night when the little one woke up feeling hot like a Las Vegas sidewalk during the middle of summer. 103 read the Target bought thermometer, cold bath, dad getting peed on after taking the teeth shivering toddler out of the icy water, and yet there was no stress to working as a couple to care for sick little one who wouldn’t touch her dinner that should have been a forewarning since her normal appetite is fit for the Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest.

Maybe we’ll finally get to live as a family versus walking on thin balloons, hoping they won’t pop to set off an argument. Time will tell if I’ll be around here in the future to chat inanely about my tepid life that many people live, but it’s the life that tailor fit to my specifications.

Thanks for dropping by, now I apologize as usual when I break these type of posts but a brain dump is the best tonic I know besides a carefully crafted Cap’n Coke of course.

P.S. Yes I’ve been playing poker, and yes the O8 games are treating me nicely, and yes you'll be able to take my mobneys again soon :)

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