Thursday, July 26, 2007

Shop Smart! Shop S-Mart!

You’re the store manager of a local iconic retailer which is subject to brief store inspections. Every once in a while a group from headquarters sends a bunch of suits and district managers to check out the planograms and facings to make sure the store is presentable and profitable. The markings on the Microsoft Outlook calendar designate today’s the day for 56 retail “experts” to drop by the store for a gathering on ideas on how the store could improve its profits.

You make sure Danny, the spunky 20 year old that shows up with a spotless smock every day for the past four years comes in a little early to make sure all the deodorant is facing correctly. Julie, the aspiring team lead, is hoping to impress the suits enough to get plucked for a ripe headquarters job. She’s busy in her intimate apparel section making sure bras are lined up by cup size and there’s no perverts in the changing rooms trying to get a glimpse of Mrs. Walther trying on some boy short lace panties that are two sizes too small but wants to relive her youthful years.

The store is ready for the march through the aisles of Amy Grant CDs, LCD TVs, plush down comforters, and the new grocery section that has provided a boost in foot traffic. Your store manager badge is pinned in perfect alignment with that crisp polo shirt purchased off the company website and you flash a Crest white strips brighten smile as the group enters the store.

Then all hell breaks loose.

The tour begins by walking by the vaunted grocery section where it seems the freezer isn’t freezing and the Edy’s cookie dough ice cream is suddenly making cream colored puddles on the floor. A tour to the back stock room finds sounds of erotic pleasure going on in the candy aisle as Danny is found with a Baby Ruth bar in places mother nature didn’t intend while Sondra the cashier, who is also the daughter of one of the retail experts in the group, is eating the candy bar while donning a topless devil woman costume (complete with blow up pitchfork!) from the seasonal Halloween shipment that came in early.

To top it off as the grumbling group made its way out of the store to turn this store into a miniature golf course and bumper car playland, the lights go out and since the doors are controlled only by electronics to prevent someone entering with a key, they are all locked in.

Horrible timing last night Full Tilt with the outage of the BBT freeroll.

You cost us a rant post by Waffles which means more then my early double stack I attained with outflopping a better hand versus radio extraordinaire BuddyDank. I assume we’ll restart the tourney fresh and new, giving everyone an even keel because “it’s the right thing to do”. I’ll plug my two cents if asked, but for now I’d be too opinionated because I was one of the early chip leaders (which means shit knowing my ability to donk away chips while leading).

It was a great series and I sincerely hope this little setback doesn’t detour any possible future blogger challenge series because I had a blast despite not being able to play many events as I’d like.

Thanks for dropping by, guys weekend is upon me and if all goes well, I’ll remember few holes of golf along with donking away a few nickels at the blackjack tables. See ya Monday.

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