Can I Have Another Pronouncation?

I saw a woman yesterday gracefully looking inflicted with pyrrhotism in her best beach wear, or lack there of and wondered... what kind of person memorizes how to spell words like pyrrhotism? Damn these spelling bee kids r smrt.

PLO8 at Riverchasers. I finished 25 of 75 simply because Kyra didn't feel like sleeping and logging on would have meant a wraith from the sleepy spouse that will rival those in the octagon this weekend. It was my last legit shot at a BBT3 seat but my thanks go out to those who set up this beast, and hope the next one is similar with better results :)

Enjoy the weekend folks and stay tuned for a little expansion to my need to plague more ears and eyes with my babbling style of writing.

The Letter of the Day is W

I just figured out I missed out on my last/best shot of sneaking into the BBT3’s Tournament of Champions when the Riverchasers tourney next week was a NLO8 format. Score another bad beat for the home team. I’m still trying to figure out what I was doing that would have prevented me from playing the four card bingo-fest.

Writing? I didn’t post any articles on my other site.

Drinking while on the computer? Entirely possible, but I’d assume someone would have IM’d me that an O8 tourney was going off or if my supposed imaginary internet friends had an evil plot to prevent my participation I will get revenge. Or start reading Catcher in the Rye before the next WPBT live event and go on a killing spree.

Sleeping? Definitely a strong conclusion since unknown allergies have been kicking my ass, leaving me to breathe like a fish out of his bowl at night

Whoever won, I’m sure they played great, cracked hands when needed, yadda yadda yadda. All the disappointing finishes throughout this series have left me asking when is the Pai Gow event going to start? For the good side of the ledger, there has been resurgence in my bankroll thanks to the NL/PLO8 cash games after dropping down a level. With a few more months in the black, I’ll return to my normal game and try once again to break the barrier between the nose bleed levels and stakes that can earn me an Extra Big Gulp with a candy necklace next time I go to the 7-11 after school on my trusty gold and azure BMX Huffy with the missing crossbar due to my face going thru it while attempting a landing and kick ass silver mag rims.

A possibility of returning to the WSOP this year, if only for the juicy $2/$5 PLO8 game that was running is a goal. And I do have a 1 in 18 shot at that thanks to the Bodoggie and the plethora of suckouts I’ve been allotted there.

The question of the day that has been swirling my five remaining brain cells for the past day: What do you do after glancing at a co-worker’s acute camel toe issue?

Suggested finer fitting panties while discussing TPS reports?

Mention that Kohl’s prices on high quality skirts are at an all-time low!

Or go for the gusto and mention their crotch should form a V not a W?

Please chime in with help.

No Gas Means the Burrito Wasn't Good Enough

I got this in my email box:

Just passing the message on: Our government isn't doing anything about fuel prices. It's time we citizens do a 1 day boycott and see if things change. Mexico has federal control on fuel prices and diesel fuel is $2.28/gallon.

NO GAS...On May 15th 2008 - Don't pump gas on May 15th In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight. On May 15th 2008, all internet users are to not go to a gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.50 a gallon in most places.

There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about $30 to $50 to fill up. If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost $3 BILLION) out of the oil company's pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and let's try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day.

If you agree (which I can't see why you wouldn't) resend this to your entire contact list. With it saying, ''Don't pump gas on May 15th"

I heart fuzzy math: $2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost $3 BILLION) and my dick is 8 inches long (THAT'S ALMOST 1 FOOT OF MANHOOD LADIES!!!!1111). So if you don't want that undernourished child in Somalia with the club foot and hand sticking out of his chest to die in the next 24 hours for not following this email, just say no to petrol.

On the poker front, made the Mookie final table with uninspiring play save a little tilt in the middle of it when a flush draw got there for my opponent. No suckouts, no getting my money in behind except for the last hand. At least it paid for the last two weeks of BBT3 buy-ins, but alas no Mookie interview. Too little, too late.

Tomorrow I'll be at Canterbury and hopefully someone will brush the sand off his non-posting vaginal area enough to join me out there for late night poker and PAI GOW! Otherwise, I'll enjoy the races with the family while hitting up the Daily Double beer specials.

Enjoy your non-fuel pumping day today or angry spider monkeys while swarm your house like horny poker bloggers to naked pics of Shana Hiatt. Ok partially clothed, but good enough so its SFW.

Its the Best Beats the Rest!

After winning the Texas High School 1A state track meet... My question is: does she get to keep the team trophy?

Yes, I'd still jump the trophies on Amanda Wenk regardless of marital or sexual preferrence status.

My ability to lose in the Hoy in different ways is unsurpassed as I should have lost with Aces early on but sucked out on a flopped straight. Then did something stupid by getting my money in ahead again with Kings after the first break and lost to my favorite hand (99). GG. Night night. Love coming back every week!

Please bring the Red Soxs back to play at the homerdome more often. I've never seen the Twins' bats look so lively. Especially Pap Smear and his stare down of death which gave the Twinkies a nice come from behind victory. Of course now I've jinxed the team and Mauer will probably blow a knee like me and Cuddyer will try to catch the ball with his mouth instead of his hat. But, I'm all for Boston sport teams getting knocked off their holier then thou perch, even if its only May.

Bodoggie and Skillz tonight for those still grinding these tournament series out. My participation will depend on the ability to lift two eyelids after dinner. That Buddy Dank and his evil pushfest with addictive music keep me up too late. Tonight I counter that Waffles Song with the classic Banana Phone!

Faced-Book

A friend of mine that I haven't heard from in quite some time dropped me an email to join Facebook.

No, it was not Niki Belucci coming to whisk me away to show off my white boy dancing skillz at techo-clubs in Zurich, not unlike these bloggers shown here.

So I joined.

What happens now?

(looks at watch)

Ok then.

A congrats to our resident scientist Biggestron, all-around great guy that sadly has fallen to the evils of Red Sox Nation, on his well-fought heads up win at the Hoy last night (that cost me $15 to watch as I got home late from softball and pulled up a PLO8 table to pass the time).

As I wait for something exciting to happen besides cleaning up another ass-plosion while trying to dine out with a potty training child, I'm going to infect your auditory senses with this damn song I can't get out of my head thanks to the Buddy Dank crew (who is still rocking the Borgata by the way).

Skillz series and Bodoggie tonight which I can't play since I'm being whisked back to the diamond this evening despite my knee protesting the very reason I only wanted to play one day a week. Walking around work like I just enjoyed a welcome shower at San Quentin isn't my idea of fun.

A Wife's Plea

*Dearest Full Tilt Poker:

For a couple of years now your website has supplied this family with a little extra income so we can enjoy some finer things in life, like going to Arby’s and splurging on one of those delicious Apple Turnovers after a filling meal while the kids enjoy the latest plastic toy which will get thrown away before we leave the building. Or hitting up the local outdoor strip mall (even during the winter HAR HAR!) and buying a few pairs of sexy, soft cotton underwear (I hate the word “panty”) at Victoria’s Secret instead of that rough shit from Kmart.

But lately the kids and I have been woken by noise in the night. No, not those noises, as I can tell the difference between my husband complaining about poker and finding the perfect double penetration amateur porn to wack off to. For some reason he thinks I don’t know about the spooge-fest, so lets keep that little bit of information between us m’kay? The yells lately are not the ones laced with testosterone after conquering another player and funding another trip to Archivers so I get my 16th pair of scissors that cuts paper in a yet another totally cool way! These yells are from various cock-shriveling defeats at your wonderful Battle of the Blogger Tournament series. He appreciates all the wonderful gifts you’re throwing at the internet scribes and Riverchasers patrons, but wonders why your random number generator is inclined to put a finger up his spine almost every night he stays up to play after re-reading “Crocodile Bus” to the soon-to-be two year old that won’t go to bed? I am the only one allowed to fuck my husband up the ass according to the church we were married at several years ago.

Be aware of this.

Because next time you even think about going near that poop chute with some rag cards to bust his hand after he plays for three hours and ends up waking the kids because you thought it was funny to leave him hanging after a dry hand job with no peppermint lotion causing me to have to deal him humping my leg at one a.m. while muttering “wrap draw” “fuckin Ace-Rag” I will swim to Dublin and personally take my 27oz. Combat softball bat to the kneecaps of everyone since I hate getting my hair wet in the ocean due to the snarls.

Just so we have an understanding, bust him early so he can masturbate and go to sleep, or keep the 15 aces in the deck from hitting the river so he can lose on his own terms.

Or I will bring the pain.

Thank you,

Drizz’s Wife

*this post was written in jest as she’d never swing for the kneecaps and I'm totally kidding as I do enjoy these tourneys and Full Tilt just that the "beats" are becoming hard to handle after two months

Thief By Suckout

Although poker is supposed to be impersonal, you have friends at the table regardless of check-raising and slow playing monsters for value which are part of the game and shouldn’t determine whether you go out for dirty martinis and wings afterwards. Bad beats are part of the game as well, but they hurt a little more since you did all you could, placed the perfectly angled squeeze bunt down the third base line only to have a tuff of wind and a rock knock the ball sideway enough to roll to the left side of the chalk.

While I don’t take it personally, it doesn’t subside the feeling that you just looked in your pocket after getting home from the local market after buying a Black Cherry New York Seltzer, and found that pack of Topps you were looking at and were going to pay for. Sure you could return it and get a lecture about the dangers of shoplifting and being a blight on society for your little sticky fingers.

I always preferred a different method of karmatic retribution, paying a little extra the next time and telling the storekeep about what happened. You look responsible, they probably knew you took it, and you retain the ability to walk back into the store without the clerk peering over the new copy of Penthouse from the rack behind the counter.

Afterwards you can go home and relish in getting that Tony Gwynn rookie card that you got without feeling the guilt.

Poker was the same story as its been for the past two months, run good at Bodog due to a huge suckout late against Peaker and taking 5th for those yummy extra $109 in overlay tournament dollars that Bodog offers for the 1st-5th. Also, this late finish should hopefully lock up that seat in the Tournament of Champions as I started the night in 9th overall with a healthy lead over 18th.

As for the Battle of the Blogger Tournaments series… can’t the motor running, can’t suckout, just not happening. You need breaks to get deep in these things whether its win a flip, getting Aces versus Kings and holding up, or grabbing that pack of baseball cards when you didn’t pay for it.

Mookie tonight. I want that winner’s interview before the end of the year sir. Good luck.

Trying to Copa Without a Cabana

Next time you're in Vegas, make sure that Africian cabbie isn't wearing too many gold rings...

... he just might be a penis snatcher!!!

I guess not double wrapping for that hooker isn't the only way to make your dick shrivel up and fall off.

Poker double standard seen twice last night:

- Berated by Pirate Lawyer for calling his small blind monkey re-steal push with TT in the big blind when I put him on AJ, AQ, AK in the early stages of the Mookie, watched him do the same call at the final table under similar chip circumstances. I felt doubling up early was worth the gamble, but I lost (he had AQ, flopped the queen). Good play or no?

- Final two tables of the $5 PLO8, player has been going off about the horrid cards people will play for the past 5 minutes in the chat box, he pots it on the button while I'm holding A255 double suited, have him covered by 4BBs, and he still has 20BBs behind. I re-pot it, he goes all-in, and I call to see him flip up... 277J rainbow

He wins with a pair of Jacks on an all high flop. Despite the crippling blow with 15 left, I made the final table and promptly got quartered the first hand and the scraps got eaten up because I had no chips to make crap hands fold.

If you're going to play a certain way, don't hold it against someone else when they do the same thing. If PirateLawyer and this PLO8 maestro were female, then I'd understand the do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do attitude. Over the past ten years my wife has drilled this universally accepted logical explanation of why she's never wrong into me. :)

New trailer was supposed to be sitting on our little plot of land this morning, instead its in the park's front parking lot because the delivery guy and his third-grade aged daughter didn't bring the neccessary equipment to haul away the old one. After the wife and father-in-law spent two days off work to get it ready for that departure, the RV place will be receiving a not-so-happy phone call this morning. I'm guessing my father-in-law will not be discussing the Jared Allen to the Vikes trade with the dealership.

My "exciting" announcement is out today because unfortunately the deal fell flat due to circumstances out their control. Next week I was going here, to assist in the coverage of the brand-spanking new Latin American Poker Tour. I'm still touched that someone out there felt I was worthy of such a tap on the shoulder, but very disappointed that I won't be reporting on the new widths of g-strings on Rio's beaches along with chip counts. Hopefully there will be a mulligan coming my way.

Riverchasers tonight where you will not find me as the boy has a cross-sport class where they play basketball, soccer, and throw ninja stars at sloth-like half-caf mocha makers in Starbucks uniforms. I'll be there with a raised glass to cheer those participating on later tonight. Good luck!

For the Love of the Game

When you get a second chance at the ability to live life how you wanted, should you care that your soon-to-be two year old decided to ship her perfectly crafted spare ribs air mail at the freshly painted wall giving it the Jackson Pollock treatment? Or that the wife maybe dropped one too many hints about everyday going ons this week, straddling the line between helpful and total bitch?

I’ve looked at the little things that used to “destroy” week and brood over them like they were ending my marriage, sending me to live under a bridge and wash people’s windshields for enough money to buy a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger. Granted, I still get a kick out of complaining about bad service at a Starbucks or how infinitely annoying the full, headbanging volume of the Verizon Wireless sign off jingle is on my cell phone. Or go into detail why some people should not be allowed to breed as a sign of my discontent over their inability to use a copier, causing delay in my very important TPS report printing and hot chocolate drinking.

The reason I started this blog was for my love of cards, particularly poker. A long losing streak has left me wondering if I should turn this page into simple rants about everyday life or continue plunging forward with every Aces cracked. Granted, my posts are mostly about my kids and how the backyard needs some serious green thumb intervention, but I do like to discuss poker at length still just not with the passion of trading hand histories or the actual cards involved with a hand. Instead, I’d rather know how someone dealt with barely making into the money in their last five tourneys, what did you do with the money after that big score, or how did you manage to even log on after coming one card from getting a Battle of the Blogger Tournament TOC seat?

Those are type of questions I’m interested in, not how to play 89s UTG with a field of aggressive players ahead. The cards play themselves with minor tweaking for check-raising and floating, if you get Aces and someone else is lucky enough to have Kings, you’ll win 80% of the time. Simple math, not the Full Tilt Random Number Generator, but simple math caused that four flush to come out causing you to question once again why you play this stupid game.

But, you the player know why you play and come back to the table after months and months of “beats”. It’s not the same drive for everyone, but your reason is your own, and no one else’s.

Hold on to that, and you’ll see why those imaginary internet friends come in handy as they spin tales in their own voice about those home games, big wins, and for the brave ones how they lose.

Jot Dot Jump

The little one below will have to entertain you for another day as daddy is busy.

Thanks again to RakeBrain for the freeroll on Thursday, I was one card from picking up the $100 bounty on LeCheese (seems like a repeat of every post for the past five months...)

For those without a call button, Hoy tonight. Bring a cup.

The Short Road to Hutchinson

If you ever wondered how many World of Warcraft dorks are out there... they'd make a decent sized country with a big enough stockpile of WMD's (such as the Hand of Ragnaros) to send a few U.S. troops over to battle the Paladins and Warriors.

Ok, I admit I'd be hooked too being a gaming dork myself :)

And I'm sure it would be a lot less frustrating then poker has been.

This weekend was a travel through the small towns of Minnesota on the way to meet a friend who's moved away from The Cities for a quieter side of life and pursue his new career. Howard Lake, Dassel, Cokato, towns with farmland sitting adjacent to the high school. Towns welcoming you with all you can eat potato pancakes on Sunday morning at the Lions club; probably after church lets out. To the dismay of my fellow passenger, no Egg McMuffins to be found down the one side road along main street to these under triple digit population towns. Traveling along Highway 12 on the back roads from Hutchinson back to civilization we saw the old school roadside taverns with the weathered oak sign, that probably served three styles of Schmidt beer for a dollar a piece complete with barkeep who doubled as a farmer. The rolling hills of soon-to-be filled with corn stalks were covered in snow, a stark reminder that the state forgot that something called “Spring” started a few weeks ago and I’d appreciate not having to don a ski jacket while playing right field next week or gore-tex gloves to have a beer in the parking lot afterwards.

I’ve wondered if small town living would be right for me if I could find the right amount of income to sustain such a life for my family. Having family and friends close by is the reason I didn’t accept a different job several years ago that would have me basking in the desert sun of Tempe. Are mom’s chocolate chip bars and a ten minute drive to work worth nearly double the mortgage payment to live in a suburb?

You betcha.

Hoy tonight. If I manage to dodge the call-all-in-with-the-JackAce fan club this evening in a peep tourney you’ll find me there this evening. If not, good luck to all those pursuing those WSOP seats in the BBT3.

Snow Snow Go Away Come Back Never

I want to be Matt Leinart. Make globs of money, nail ASU co-eds while rehabing injuries, and have two all-pro WRs waiting in case you decide to take this playing football thing seriously. Visit The Dirty.com (probably NSFW) for the pics.

So, who's coming over to my place this weekend to shovel the driveway?

I offer homemade chocolate chip bars, two adorable kids that will serve drinks with a smile their mother gave them, and all the Guitar Hero you can handle! If bored from Tom Morello kicking your ass, you can always toss the malcontent fat cat to see if he always lands on his feet.

This weekend I was supposed to be enjoying the first 18 holes of the year with a good friend that recently returned from Iraq. Mother nature decided that April wasn't soon enough to close down winter for the year so we'll be stuck playing poker all-night, followed by micro-stakes Euchre while chasing down Bacon McGriddles in the morning instead of plunking golf balls off woodland creatures due to a slice that would have David Feherty wondering why you like to light money on fire by buying golf clubs and paying green fees.

BBT3 rolls on to the Mookie this evening which I will not be playing in. After my snapping in the girly chat box last night it was clear I need a rest until drunken poker night tomorrow.

Gayness Minus the Pink Shirt

I thought of something that Badblood mentioned while pondering on four decades of life, happened last night before I went out just before the cash in the Hoy.

Friends.

People who I've met in the past near four years of mind-numbing hand histories and figuring out how many licks of Cap'n Coke does it take to put Drizz in a wheelchair.

People in the chat box and invisible internet friends popping an "Good Luck!" in the IM-girly chat machine for someone who's had a rough run playing this little card game.

For that I humbly thank you, and welcome your dead money tonight in the Skillz and Bodonkey :)

Another Day, Another Asshat

pvanharibo: brutal
Drizztdj: I hate poker
Perticelli55: i knew it was coming...
Drizztdj: good night
PokahDave: glad I folded my AK
Perticelli55: if i didnt know, i wouldnt call..lol
Drizztdj: "I knew it was coming"?
Perticelli55: i knew
Perticelli55: lol
Astin: I guess folding my 3rd T assured that
Perticelli55: sweet

Crack my aces a mere 20 minutes into the Riverchasers, fine. Gloat about it? Seems to becoming the norm at these BBT3 tournaments.

Even my patience is wearing thin.

Doing the Bull Dance

My wife says its a tie who lasts longer, but I don't get paid to go longer then 8 seconds. In my defense, I have video proof that I can go nine seconds like a rock star (Yahoo key words: key west bull riding video).

Twins came out of the gate like Barbaro in the opener and fell like him as well over the past two games, managing just one run and wasting a great start by unknown to me Nick Blackburn. Carlos Gomez continues to look the part of promising young star in hopefully fading the trade of our ace to the Mets. If only our hyped and recently pumped full of cash middle of the lineup would do some damage, the Twins might make a run this fall.

Good way to waste $60? Open your computer to find out the fantasy baseball draft was three days ago while your self-exile from the virtual felt normally would have had you playing and not having to remember the time such things (my apologies April, but you still owe me $400 for your Longhorns flop-tactular play vs. Memphis). Self-proclaimed pink shirt and gay porn lover DP cheats and currently leading the pack, I need an "I win" button like him. Actually I'd need more help then that as my fantasy skillz rival those of Waffles picking a six team NFL parlay.

Poker blogger riffs? Check out Jordan's poker-blogging-Denis-Leary-channeling post "Assholes to Honey". My take, newer bloggers just don't get it yet. The expectation that because you have a poker blog that you're some world-class player is asking for a Whopper at McDonald's stupid (unless your Chuck Norris of course). We write about poker, and the stories behind the winning and yes losing. StB hits this subject with his "Circles of Poker Blogging Hell" series, a great synopsis of the current state of our little community of degenerate players.

It would be sad to see it crumble with all the good its brought to several people who have benefited thru actual play, the globs of free stuff thrown at us (hat tip to Al and Smokkee just to name a few), and most importantly the friendships which personally helped me to get out of the whirlpool I was getting sucked down and now am living a different life because of it (one year since I got my license back!!). A life full of hope and future, versus worrying about the past and what argument is going to pop up next.

Enough of the huggling. Riverchasers tonight, I'm putting the line at 35th and above for my finish this evening. Anyone for a small prop bet? :)

Partially Clothed Drizz

Damn Canucks can’t keep their choppers off our land! For those ever needing to meet nature by getting slapped by a fresh trout, mosquitoes, and experience those layers of cube monkey stress stripping off like lead paint chips, visit Ely, Minnesota. Go to the tourist route and lock down a resort cabin for the week or hike/canoe/camp in the Boundary Waters and your inner Paul Bunyan will thank you.

Since I’m battling debits and credits versus a five pound smallmouth bass this morning on Lake Vermillion, how about some poker! My greatness of getting my money in behind several times yesterday at the Bodoggie (which bumped me to 6th place overall), likely inspired future 2+2-esqe, 400 page reference guides to poker. To be fair I only CALLED twice while behind and that was a decision based upon the wall clock showing an odd digit and the fact I wouldn’t be knocked out if I lost. The rest of the silly river cards in my favor showed that maybe a little luck can shine in on a otherwise dark time of playing this card game.

Want to know what real feeling towards this game is, Otis spins his tale and opens his inner poker player soul for those to see. If you feel even a percentage of that way about the game while losing, you’re on your way to becoming a complete player. Aside from knowing the math, having the feel, or studying your opponents from across the felt virtual and real; just being able to play the game at its base when money isn’t the primary driver, will get you past the “sick sick sick rivers” and see the game what its for.

A battle. Luck. Gambit. Traps. And yes, skill.

I bemoan about luck in great length here, yet the game provided me with some last night because I chose to play in a manner that allowed me to channel it if just for one evening. It’s not a comfortable way to play, but if you’re sitting at a cushy corporate job with little to no stress and even less responsibilities, perhaps you can relate that you’ll only gain what is given to you versus going outside of that snuggly flannel blankey and try to be upwardly mobile on the corporate ladder.

Thanks for dropping by, now get your Mookie on tonight as the BBT3 continues to roll over my meager bankroll like Spud Webb trying to defend the lane against Shaq.

Lazy River Break

Aggression in poker is brilliant only if you don't have to turn over your cards :)

Thanks for making poker fun again that I can laugh at myself.

Off for the weekend for a mini-getaway at a hotel with a waterpark for the two tax deductions so no drunk poker for yours truly as I'm leaving all electronics at home except maybe my iPod to relax in the hot tub or lazy river. Good luck to those playing in the Riverchasers this evening, may your pairs be big, and your ill-timed bluffs suck out like a champ.

Young at Heart

To start your morning right, everyone loves a good hockey fight. Its even better when goalies get involved, but what if you're the son of a NHL net-minding legend? You end up on ESPN Sportscenter.

And one more radio ad with the “Canadian” sounding guy telling me how crisp and refreshing Kokanee beer is, will get cross check to the face with my massive Nordic forearm. Yes, Canadians say “hoser” and “eh” WE GET IT ALREADY. Do marketing people seriously find humor in what isn’t funny? Double dip-shit points for those who pay these people to infect my ear drums on a daily basis with these purid, flannel wrapped sound bites. Your executive dollars would be better spend chasing high priced call-girls around penthouse suites while having them call you He-Man to her She-Ra or flip the switch if you’re the women exec.

Betty’s post yesterday inspired me to take a look at my relationship. No, I won’t be hopping into bubble-filled hot tubs soon (despite owning one) and posting erotic stories as a married man of eight years who lives like middle-income suburban white trash, my sexual excitement comes from a free weekend of Cinemax. I'm trying to see the reason why me and my wife don’t connect at times. I am the child of the relationship. I want to be a Toys R’ Us kid. I want to be Peter Pan. I want the crust cut off my PB&J. And I don’t understand why she doesn’t want the same, and my pushing sometimes drives a wedge between us. Party in Malvern, PA? Book me a flight!! Stay up all night playing cards? Who’s holding the two bowers with the ace again (that's euchre for those who haven't had the pleasure of playing down at the VFW for quarters)!! Dial-a-shots? Handle sitting right next to me!!

People at work also wonder why I have a smile on my face most of the time at all hours of the day. My cat didn’t die, my car runs on all cylinders, and I have two legs that work pretty well despite some old hockey injuries that make it a little painful at times. The child in me of course goes into hiding when having to teach Wyatt that it’s not ok to break toys and hauling him up to Target with his Thomas the Tank Engine bank in hand to replace his sister’s toy.

Are my expectations too high that I want to have fun instead of worrying about how you’re going to feel Monday morning? I see someone fun inside of her, yet only get to see a glimpse of what used to be at times. Parenting is not easy, parenting wears down on a person with every thrown bit of pork chop/veggie/potatoes and argument about who had it first, but should it alter you so much that you lose your identity?

I ask myself constantly, am I the one who needs to grow up and fly away from Neverland to grow old, or is it too much to expect her to grow young again?

Just want to thank Bodog for dropping Josh Arieh and $100 into our series even if it was just for a brief while (I think I made the points last night after a brilliant play late with trash got me knocked out before the money). Mookie tonight for those Battle of the Blogger tournaments sadist who haven’t had enough of a beat down yet.

Drifting on the Calm Sea

Day 272 -

The coconuts, while good when I first got here, now have become an annoying regularity. Much like those frozen Chicken Kievs my mom used to buy in bulk which would turn me ill from the mere mention of the word now. I have befriended a softball that washed ashore and named him Mizuno because I always wanted an Asian friend. He is kind and listens as I ramble on about how I miss my kids and wife and all the free cheerleader up-skirt porn.

My pale skin is slowly getting used to the blistering heat but still shows the damage that extreme whiteness against harsh UV rays with the lack of SPF 120 can do. Will I ever find out what is down the hatch, I do not know. I hear people chanting in the deep jungle at night, yet they do not bother me. Probably because they hear me chanting bad beat stories in my sleep.

It is with great hope that the Professor and the Skipper will be able to return us home soon using giant conch shells and bat guano. My lust of bending over Mrs. Howell on a bed of moss grows by the day as I try to remain faithful to my wife of nearly eight years. And I'll drop my journal entry here as my return to civilization depends on realizing if there's an island at all, and how I willingly came here myself through my own mind after a mental breakdown caused by the evil RNG at Full Tilt and PokerStars.

Perhaps tonight I will cast the makeshift raft and sail back to reality, with dreams of a WSOP seat or enjoy yet another good night's sleep from not having to worry if I played those Jacks correctly near the bubble of the Blogger Skillz Series game or Bodoggie.

Peace.

And if you're late to the party, go check out Al's site for yet another shot at a $2K seat just for bloggers!

EDIT: If you've recently received email from Full Tilt's security people, make sure you read Poker Gnome recent post about a scam that is going on.

Its Not Getting There...

... but it didn't suck either



At least it was in an event that I'm supposed to know something about.

Also cashed in the Daily Double and close in the 28K. Maybe my 52oz Cap'nCokes are lucky?