Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Cleaning Up the Wet Spot

Ok, the pants have been hit with a shot of Spray-n-Wash, cleared mostly of the Favre-gasm from yesterday. Now, how did the Vikes get to the point where they needed to come up with the ironic replay of "The Catch" which an hour prior to kickoff was the subject of the "Mayne Event" on ESPN, complete with interview with Jerry Rice and pass from Mayne to Clark.

Foreshadow much?

First problem: WAY too many throws coming from Favre. Thanks to the amount of three and outs from the defense, the offense was on the field for a sizable amount during the game as they enjoyed a five minute advantage on time of possession. 46 throws should be said in the same breath while discussing a New Orleans Saints game and Brees going 39 for 52 with 6 billion yards and 50 TDs causing fantasy owners to mock those stuck with Trent Edwards. We won't mention such people as they are scum and deserve to have their faces swirled in the ass of that overly hairly fat naked dude in the gym locker room that insist on "air" drying for 30 minutes. True, the 49ers had some excellent run D, knocking down Purple Jesus by not allowing him his divine cutbacks but 46 is too much and asking for late season collapse (a.k.a. everyone's prediction).

Second problem: Stems from the first, catching said glutton of passes. The drops by Berrian and Big Jim Slade (shown below) are of dual concern since Berrian is supposed to be the #1 wideout and Shinacoe seemingly got over his mortar wrapped hands last year catching wounded ducks from T-Jack. Harvin and Rice are huge compliments to the above with size and speed and may need to step up if Berrian/Shinacoe can't find their hands.

Third problem: Blocking, specifically pass protection beyond the front four. Loadholt is having some growing pains, but its the Purple Jesus that needs to learn the art of picking up the blitz when he's not called upon to make defensive back a skid mark while dashing to a 70+ yard touchdown run. Taylor is excellent at this but when he's on the field teams rightfully assume the pass is on.

Fourth problem: The decision between Trader Joe's Hawaiian Style Hickory Barbecue Potato Chips versus Spicy Sweet Chili Dorritos. Good god people why must you make gametime snacking so difficult??? The beer part is easy. Four pack of Surly in a frosted mug, but the complimentary chips that should not be mixed but are equally tasty is maddening and is more confusing than what to do when the adult female of the house says "No, I really don't need help".


On another note: That MNF game last night? The battle of the headcase quarterbacks was utterly unwatchable for the first half. The second half was mildly better but the Cowgirls need help and with now two very good but busted up running backs, they'll be needing Simpson's ex to get his thoughts out of her daisy dukes and back in the game and Roy Williams to find his game from four years ago.

As for Carolina, Mr. Peppers you really should have signed with us. 3-13 isn't a stretch unless DeAngelo Williams scores all four TDs in several upset. Delhomme makes T-Jack look like the second coming of Montana, the dude needs to give up tackle football and start up a car dealership with excellent finanacing available and a free Garmin GPS device with purchase.

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