Thursday, January 10, 2008

Two Things Getting Cut Off

Man goes Evil Dead on himself, finds it tough to play Guitar Hero afterwards.

I, on the other hand, found it quite easy to play after yet another one off the bubble finish in a blogger tourney despite being all out sick and after midnight. Number of the Beast called, I answered with the fake whammy bar and managed take out all frustration on the nerd screen. How anyone could not have fun playing Guitar Hero or Rockband is beyond the comprehension of this simple minded blogger.

Today I go in for every married man's walk of shame. No, I will not be purchasing the heavy period styled kotex maxi pads at Target. "My flow is REALLY HEAVY honey get those!" Yes, please say that a little louder I don't think you scared off the hunched over senior citizen that just tripped over his oxygen tank after your declaration of vaginial blood gushing.

No, I'll be learning all about shooting blanks for the rest of my life. Not sure what or how to feel yet, or if they'll put a cone on my neck so I don't lick my dick. I made a rhyme isn't that fine!

Actually I'm ok with it, except for the "why am I doing this" part. I need a reason, the wife won't give me one besides "I don't want to take pills for the rest of my life". Understandable, but doesn't growing a little Drizz inside of her require having sex in the first place? At least that's what I learned in the awkward Eighth Grade health class with Mr. Norris the former football playing physical fitness teacher forced to point to boobies, vaginas, and penises for horny middle school students on a chalkboard. Intimacy is there, sex isn't. She's tough to open up literally and figuratively so this isn't a new issue.

Wish my boys some luck on being handled with the TLC of a high priced hooker.

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