Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through l8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota.
If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each Year, because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too Spendy", you might live in Minnesota.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Minnesota.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Minnesota.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Minnesota.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Minnesota.
If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina, Shakopee, Winton and Ely, you might live in Minnesota.
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Minnesota.
"Vacation" means going up north past Virginia for the weekend. You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "HEAT" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
Where men are men and so are the women.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Zups Grocery Store at any given time.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
You consider Minneapolis exotic.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your Blue spruce.
“Down South” to you means Iowa.
A brat is something you eat.
You go out to fish fry every Friday.
You find 0 degrees a little chilly.
You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Minnesota friends