Monday, January 29, 2007

Super Bowl Prop Bets

Let the 144 hour pre-game show begin!

It already did? I thought ESPN just wanted to update us on the blind date between Parcells and T.O. at Chuck E. Cheese while they split an over greased pepperoni pizza and a pitcher of 3.2 beer.

My fictional online bookie managed to slide $25 into my fictional account so I could fictionally wager fictional funds on what should be a decent game. Seven point line notwithstanding. Normally, I would wager much more then $25 fictional dollars on the game, and the only remedy I have to my meager wagering dollars is to find a not-so-fictional bookie who would not-so-fictionally rearrange my dental works should I not “pay up” in time. Thanks for making the world a safer place sirs.

Ok, to stretch my blossoming entertainment dollar which of the following prop bets shall I lay for the Super Sexy Rexy Bowl:

- Over/Under 7: Number of times Phil Simms says the word “Iron Man” (-105)

- Over/Under 10: Number of times we will be reminded there are two African-American head coaches in the game (-105)

- Over/Under 5: Number of actually funny commercials (-115)

- Number of mentions of the 1971 Undefeated Dolphins Team (+6.5 Even)
Number of mentions of the 1985 Da’ Bears Team (-6.5 -115)

- Over/Under 0.5: Number of boob slippages by Cirque du Soleil (-105)

- Over/Under 10: Number of former NFL players in the crowd/sidelines that will get face time because they couldn’t find hot chicks in the stands (-105)

- Over/Under 3.5: Injuries to Colts’ special teams trying to tackle Devin Hester (-105)

Over/Under 1,435,943: Number of times Peyton Manning will use the pronoun “I” while describing the game pre, during, and post (+110)

- Number of mentions of Phil Simms Super Bowl MVP award (-5.5 -105)
Number of mentions of Dan Marino “never winning the big one” (+5.5 -115)

- Clips of William “The Fridge” Perry shown (+2.5 -115)
Number of commercials Jared from Subway touts low-fat fast food (-2.5 Even)

- Number of Sexy Rexy Picks Thrown (+2.5 Even)
Mentions of T.O. during or after the game (pre game does not count) (-2.5 -120)

- Colts total score (-15.5 -105)
Number of chicken wings consumed by Drizz (+15.5 -105)

Excellent turn out last night for the WPBT tourney at Full Tilt! 61 bloggers decided that a Full Tilt token was worth a night of entertainment (or a few minutes worth in Hoy’s case). I managed to get to the final two tables before pushing a weak-ace into a stronger one while nursing a small stack. Always a pleasure to donate to my fellow internet scribes, use my mobneys well!

Thanks for dropping by, now anyone who’s betting on the game would you place five $5 bets (Heads or Tails!!!) or one $25 on the adjusted line of Bears -3.5 (+375)? I’m going for entertainment value, not caring about winning a mother lode or a free valentine's dinner.

Or sack up, take the $25 and at least double it on the site’s ridiculously soft poker tables first?

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