Monday, January 08, 2007

Your Love Doesn't Pay My Bills

Romosexuals are weeping, how you could trust a man who can’t hold his balls?

Eagles fans are rejoicing (Al and Big Mike, sorry I couldn’t make it to the Boathouse I figured you two got a flood of calls after Akers split the uprights). I tip a victorous Cap’n Coke in your general direction.

And I’m still in a household ready for inspection by the CDC. Its been almost a month now that we’ve been fighting this cold/flu bug at Casa De Germ causing just a little frustration and not so much post-holiday cheer. Not to mention some bedtime Barry White-esqe talk that includes “Baby, do you need a tissue and some Nyquil?”.

The little ones are feeling better due to an infusion of medicine and late night cuddles when their ear aches act up. Meaning even less sleep for me and the missus, but I’ll forgo a little sleep because I know they won’t stay small like this for long and soon I’ll be waking up in the middle of the night for different reasons to check on the kids.

With the downtime or uptime if you choose to reflect at it in a glass-half-full manner I did manage to take a roller coaster ride through variance this weekend, gaining only a gaggle of Full Tilt Points and FPPs at PokerStars. No gain, no pain. Well, a little pain of giving away some money to the mouth-breathers at the O8 tables again as I got called a moron and several other terms of endearment that should only be repeated on 50 Cent’s newest album. Yes, great job ducking my 21 outs twice once again sir. No, no, top pair is awesome!!! Thus the merry-go-round of poker continues and I’m still lining up daily for a ticket.

I did attempt to figure out the mind set behind becoming a “Supernova Elite” while playing nine tables of $1/$2 limit Hold Em’ for one hour. I figured most of those players are playing 10+ SnGs at the $215 or more level like the artist formerly known as PokerNerd, but could a small time ring game player do it?

At the end of the blinding array of cards, bad beats (both dished out and received), and a few U LUKY FOOKER OMFG U SUK comments I received a grand total of 376 VPPs (the barometer used to acquire such lofty status). Let’s do some fuzzy math:

You need one milllllllion (cue Dr. Evil) VPPs to get to SuperPokerGeek status and open the gates to the Valhalla of online poker.

Say you get an average of 400 points per hour at the lower levels (this goes up for those who play at higher tiers and 6-max games) but my figures are for the bottom feeders like me who picked every single NFL wrong this weekend and need to rebuild.

X = hours needed

400x = 1,000,000

X = a big fuckin number of hours that only cyborgs like those in the Supernova clubhouse will obtain (look for Otis to report the first Supernova Elite next month while standing next to the kid who looks like the space people from Cocoon).

At least I can still save up for a cool t-shirt, right?

Thanks for dropping by, now hop on over to PokerStars blog for more up to the nanosecond PokerStars Caribbean Adventure coverage by Otis.

Also, Pauly is already chasing losses down under while covering the Aussie Millions for Pokernews. Check out the cool video replay of a major hand during the tourney.

And just an fyi… Peppermint lotion does not soothe the effects of shaving.

Enjoy your breakfast!

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